comments made by 16 Police Officers

Cinder

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" (MY FAVORITE)

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (National Crime Information Center)

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."
_________________
A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please.

StanDike · Cadet 3 Joined: Mar 07, 2018 Posts: 14

Hahaha! Thanks for sharing!

LadyInque · Posted: Wed May 09, 2018 6:06 pm Post subject:

I dunno. Some of these, like #5, seem to be in poor taste, even if they were actually said.

Cinder · Posted: Wed May 09, 2018 6:32 pm Post subject: Any better??

*Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?� 

� *Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. �

 *I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. � *If I had a dollar for every woman that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.�

 � *I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. � 

*When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts. � 

*A recent study has found that woman who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.

 � *Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?� 

� *America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote. �

 *You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone?� That's your common sense leaving your body.� �

 *Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?� � 

*My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that. � 

*I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.�
_________________
A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please.

FairyKitty · Posted: Thu May 31, 2018 1:25 pm Post subject:

omg! number 9 is my favorite!
_________________
I'm the heart of swing
I'm the twist and shout
When you gotta sing,
When you gotta let it out
You call me and I come a-running
I turn the music on; I bring the fun in
Now, we're partying
That's what it's all about

Jim_A · Lieutenant Joined: Jan 26, 2006 Posts: 171

funny stuff Wink

gesster · Cadet 1 Joined: Aug 26, 2025 Posts: 1

workervr · Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2025 2:26 pm Post subject:

we miss Cinder!
_________________
"Well behaved women seldom make history"-Laurel Ulrich 1976