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 Cinder 
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
    
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 Posted:
Fri Dec 07, 2007 8:04 pm Post subject: Deep thoughts for those who take life way too seriously |
 
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1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like ......night??
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
5. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
6. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
7. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
8. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
9. How many of you believe in psychokinesis?...Raise my hand.
10. OK...so what's the speed of dark?
11. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
12. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
13. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
14. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
15. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
16. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
17. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
18. Just remember---if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
19. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
20. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your buns tomorrow.
_________________
A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:01 pm Post subject: Christmas wrapping |
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Christmas/Yule Gift Wrapping Hints for Cat Owners
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.
3. Open door and remove cat from closet.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc. . .
7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
13. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.
14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.
15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the paper.
16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the present came in.
17. Place present on paper.
18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.
19. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape.
20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.
22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.
23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase.
25. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper.
26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right size for sheet of paper.
27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
28. Remove string, open box and remove cat.
29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked room.
30. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper and materials.
31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and relock.
32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear cat from outside door).
33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small area of the toilet, but do your best)
34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper. Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last year as well.
35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.
36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas.
37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job.
38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.
40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
41. Go to store and buy a gift bag.
(I think the gift bag is just asking for trouble. Only things cats like as well as boxes are bags.)
_________________
A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please.
Last edited by Cinder on Sat Mar 01, 2008 3:50 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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maddy
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Jun 25, 2003
Member#: 2207
Posts: 452
Location: Houston, TX
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JadedTitan
Vice Admiral (Moderator)
Joined: Oct 20, 2007
Member#: 19134
Posts: 692
Location: Maryland
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Posted:
Fri Dec 14, 2007 8:51 am Post subject: |
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omg...i love the gift wrapping for cat owners!!! LOL. way to funny, and all too often so true!!
_________________
The right song can turn an emperor into a laughing stock, can bring down dynasties. A song can last long after the events and people in it are dust and dreams are gone. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Fri Dec 14, 2007 2:10 pm Post subject: WAY SORRY!!! |
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It is true....
MADDY SENT THE CAT WRAPPING STORY OUT FIRST!
,
,
,
,
,
,
, I only copied it.
.
.
.
.
.
..
ALL CREDIT GOES TO MADDY
and
Photobucket for that matter.
I only put them together!
.
.
.
.
..
REATING
MADDY IS THE QUEEN OF CAT OWNERS!!!!
i bow to her.
_________________
A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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 alien_avatar
Captain
Joined: Oct 28, 2006
Member#: 16007
Posts: 1342
Location: Berlin
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Posted:
Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:23 pm Post subject: Re: WAY SORRY!!! |
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| Cinder wrote: |
MADDY SENT THE CAT WRAPPING STORY OUT FIRST!
ALL CREDIT GOES TO MADDY
and
Photobucket for that matter.
I only put them together!
REATING
MADDY IS THE QUEEN OF CAT OWNERS!!!!
i bow to her. |
Quite enough of it.... but too late, I fear.
She's already opened the soul box and got the needles ready....!
 
_________________
"Welcome to the paranoia club; cheapest fees in the universe and membership lasts forever."
- Peter F. Hamilton, The Evolutionary Void |
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maddy
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Jun 25, 2003
Member#: 2207
Posts: 452
Location: Houston, TX
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Fairycat
Ensign
Joined: May 30, 2006
Member#: 14634
Posts: 25
Location: Morristown, TN
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Posted:
Wed Dec 19, 2007 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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LOL I just went through every step in the Christmas Gift Wrapping for Cat Owners just yesterday with my attention hog cat. I had to re-wrap one of the presents three times because of my silly cat.
_________________
Just so everyone knows...according to the cracker barrel peg game, I am a genius. |
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weaponlordzero
Captain
Joined: Sep 15, 2006
Member#: 15677
Posts: 1639
Location: Louisville, KY USA
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Posted:
Sun Dec 23, 2007 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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I've got 4 cats, lol. It's going to be a nightmare. 
_________________
I do not wake up with thoughts of control and rebellion, but thoughts of purpose and righteousness and the empowerment to fulfill those convictions that define me. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Mon Dec 24, 2007 1:22 pm Post subject: Late but helpful.. |
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How To Wrap Presents With a Dog In The Room
Our dog playing with the wrapping paper. 1. Gather presents, boxes, paper, tape, etc. in middle of the floor.
2. Get tape back from puppy.
3. Remove scissors from older dog's mouth.
4. Open box.
5. Take puppy out of box.
6. Remove tape from older dog's mouth.
7. Beg puppy to quit barking at the roll of wrapping paper.
8. Put present in box.
9. Remove present from older dog's mouth.
10. Put present back in box after removing puppy from box... again.
11. Take scissors from older dog & sit on them.
12. Remove puppy from box & tape it shut once and for all.
13. Take tape away from older dog.
14. Unroll wrapping paper from the roll.
15. Take puppy OFF box.
16. Cut paper off roll -- being careful not to cut puppy's paw or nose that is getting in the way as he "helps".
17. Tape three small holes older dog poked through the paper when he walked across it.
18. Wrap paper around box & secure in place with tape.
19. Take roll of wrapping paper from older dog's mouth.
20. Give older dog something to do: Tell him to hold the tape so he will stop stealing it.
21. Take scissors away from puppy.
22. Cut excess paper from "ends" so you're left with just enough paper to tuck in neatly.
23. Let puppy play with scrap paper from the ends.
24. Take tape older dog is holding.
25. Quickly tape one end before taking scissors from older dog & sitting on them again.
26. Tuck in paper neatly on the other end and fold shut like an envelope.
27. Fend off puppy trying to steal tape & tape the end securely.
28. Take bow from older dog.
29. Go get roll of wrapping paper puppy ran off with.
30. Take scissors from older dog who took them when you got up.
31. Give older dog empty tube from a roll of wrapping paper to play with.
32. Remove puppy from top of wrapped box and add final bits of tape where needed.
33. Take soggy bow from puppy & tape on since the sticky stuff no longer sticks.
34. Take pen from older dog, address tag & affix while puppy tries to eat pen.
35. Grab present before puppy opens it & put it away for safe keeping.
36. Clean up mess puppy & older dog made playing tug-of-war with empty roll of wrapping paper.
37. Put away rest of wrapping supplies & tell dogs what good helpers they are. 
_________________
A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Mon Dec 24, 2007 1:41 pm Post subject: If you loved the cat wrapping one... |
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You will enjoy this one.
Cats put up the tree!
http://www.fluffytails.ca/christmas.asp
_________________
A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Fri Jan 04, 2008 1:36 am Post subject: Scotish New Year Traditions |
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A friend of 35+ years has just found her roots back in Scotland. This is what she sent out as a New Year's Greeting.
From the Scotsclans newletter:
New years eve or 'Hogmanay' as it is known (The word possibly derives from a kind of oat cake that was traditionally given to children) is the evening that Scotland celebrates as if they owned the copyright. All over the planet Ceilidhs are organised, anyone who can play an accordion, fiddle, bagpipe or drum will be drafted into someones party. Scotsman get their 'Cerry oot' organised (as much booze as can safely fit in a carrier bag, a lump of coal and possible a slice of 'black bun' and set off into the night 'first footing'.
Here for the benefit of the uninitiated are a few hints tips and recipes to get you through the new year.
Scottish Hogmanay Traditions:
Cleaning the House
The last day of the year was traditionally regarded as a time of preparation: business would concluded to let the new year start afresh and houses were thoroughly cleaned (known as 'redding'). Fireplaces in particular had to be swept out and in a variation on reading tea-leaves, the ashes of the last fire of the old year were believed to show what lay ahead in the new year.
First Footing
One of the major Hogmanay customs was 'first footing'. Shortly after 'the bells' - the stroke of midnight when public clocks would chime to signal the start of the new year - neighbours would visit one another's houses to wish each other a good new year. This visiting was known as 'first footing', and the luckiest first-foot into any house was a tall, dark and handsome man - perhaps as a reward to the woman who traditionally had spent the previous day scrubbing her house (another Hogmanay ritual). Women or red heads, however, were always considered bad luck as first-foots.
First-foots brought symbolic gifts to 'handsel' the house: coal for the fire, to ensure that the house would be warm and safe, and shortbread or black bun (a type of fruit cake) to symbolise that the household would never go hungry that year.
Other Traditions
Two further Hogmanay traditions that have survived are the singing of Auld Lang Syne and the making of new year resolutions.
It's not clear when joining hands with your neighbour for the singing of the Burns' favourite became associated with Hogmanay particularly, although it's now a world-wide phenomenon. Because of this widespread popularity, the song's rather touching lyrics tend to get reduced to a spirited repetition of the chorus which is a shame. So impress your friends and learn at least a verse or two.
New year resolutions hark bark to the notion at the core of many Hogmanay traditions of old: making a new start. After a particularly heavy night's partying, a common resolution made by many is 'never again'. But of course, if there one Hogmanay tradition that's never likely to fade it's that most resolutions rarely last beyond the end of January so don't feel too bad if you fall by the wayside.
_________________
A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Thu Jan 17, 2008 5:58 pm Post subject: Not my rant, but OH so True!!! |
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When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their
tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing
up; what, with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning... uphill BOTH ways yada, yada, yada!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help
but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy!
I mean, compared to my childhood, they live in a darned
Utopia!
And I hate to say it but the kids today don't know how good
they°òve got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the darned library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog or God forbid use an encyclopedia!!
There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the darned record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ's usually talked over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the
phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games
like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids' and the graphics sucked! Your guy was a littlesquare! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and
faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some
old gal with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15
channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You
had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get
off your behind and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL
WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire.... imagine that!
If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing
and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! The kids today have got it
too easy. They're spoiled!!!!!!!!!
They wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980! Oh yeah, and
a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time
she hit the brakes.
Regards,
The over 30 Crowd
_________________
A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:51 pm Post subject: 16 things to be sure of! |
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1. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear
and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time. 
2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 
3. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people
to make a big deal about your birthday.
That time is age 11.
6. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." { I collect this kind of depression glass}
7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 
9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is
to annoy people who are not in them. 
10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. 
11. You should not confuse your career with your life. 
12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
13. No matter what happens somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy. 
15. Your friends love you, anyway. 
16. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance
_________________
A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Tue Jan 22, 2008 5:23 pm Post subject: Pet story |
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I don't have any pets just now.. So I can only share about others.
This one has probably been around the world a few thousand times. Just in case you have not see it, have a look. OH and have a tissue ready just in case.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2BfzUIBy9A
And now the rest of the story.
Skidboot up to old tricks, in dog heaven
04:03 PM CDT on Wednesday, March 28, 2007
By DAVID FLICK / The Dallas Morning News
dflick@dallasnews.com
Skidboot, the working ranch dog, became the titular head of a cottage industry with his own book, video, paid personal appearances and – this being modern times – Web site.
Many North Texans will remember him as a local favorite at the State Fair of Texas.
After a long period of decline, Skidboot was euthanized Sunday morning and buried under an oak tree on the Quinlan, Texas, ranch of his owners, David and Barbara Hartwig.
Human and canine family members attended the burial.
[Click image for a larger version] Animal Planet
Animal Planet
In 2003, owner/trainer David Hartwig helped Skidboot win the $25,000 top prize on Animal Planet's Pet Star competition.
"I'm just very empty," Mrs. Hartwig said Tuesday. "He was something special. He just had a special spirit."
She said her husband, the dog's trainer, was out of town and could not be reached for comment.
The Hartwigs left a tribute to Skidboot on their Web site:
"What a wonderful life of fourteen years he lived! Never has a last minute, second-thought Christmas gift ever shone so brightly as Skidboot."
The owners requested that remembrances be made in Skidboot's name to local animal shelters of donors' choice.
Skidboot is best known for winning the $25,000 championship on Animal Planet TV nework's Pet Star competition in 2003. That title led to appearances on the Oprah Winfrey, David Letterman and Jay Leno TV shows.
Also Online
skidboot.com (Official Web site)
Video: Watch his appearance on Texas Country Reporter
11/29/02: Woof! Doggie's tale is on video
Years before, however, Skidboot was already making the leap to fame at the State Fair of Texas, where he followed the classic show-biz path toward stardom.
"That's really sorrowful news. He was a real crowd-pleaser," said fair spokeswoman Sue Gooding. "He started out here as a street entertainer, and he became so popular, he went on to play the arena."
Skidboot's story began on Christmas Eve 1992 when Mr. Hartwig was shoeing horses for a nearby ranch. The ranch's owner gave the dog to Mr. Hartwig as a last-minute Christmas present for his wife.
He was halfway home when he decided to take a second look at the litter. Mr. Hartwig came home with his second pick – Skidboot, a name that refers to a cover used to prevent horses' hooves from sliding.
The puppy, which was half Australian blue heeler and half chef's surprise, initially was unruly, with neighbors complaining that he was chasing livestock and pets.
Mr. Hartwig said in later interviews that he almost gave Skidboot away before discovering that the torment was masking inner genius.
He taught the dog increasingly intricate tricks – including the signature "stuffed-ball trick."
Mr. Hartwig would tell Skidboot to grab the ball on the count of three. The owner would count "one ... two ..." and then throw out a long series of unrelated numbers, until casually adding "three" – wherein the dog would sink its teeth into the stuffed ball.
Besides his national appearances, Skidboot was a frequent visitor to local schools.
Skidboot's health had been in decline for several years after he was kicked in the head by a horse and blinded in one eye. On Sunday morning, Mrs. Hartwig said, Skidboot was unable to raise his head, and the couple made the decision to have him euthanized.
Although Mr. Hartwig has trained several other dogs to take on tour, Mrs. Hartwig said they had no plans to replace Skidboot as a personal pet.
"There was only one Skidboot," she said.
_________________
A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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